Random musings. (Read: rant)

I wonder sometimes why human beings do the things they do. I wonder why we say one thing, then act in a way that is completely contradictory. I wonder why we say everything we can to convince someone to hold one particular belief about us, with full knowledge that it’s not true at all. Eventually it becomes clear to others that our actions are inconsistent with our words. And the closer we think they are to figuring it out, the more fervently we persist in telling them otherwise. Yet we just keep acting the same way. It’s like we really want them to figure out the truth without actually having to tell them, because Lord forbid we bite the bullet and own up to how we really feel. I think some people do it maliciously, but more often than not it’s done out of what we think is kindness- out of a desire to…be what this person wants you to be, or spare their feelings, or say what you know they want to hear. But that’s not kindness at all. Because at the root of it I think it’s still self-preservation. You say what you think I want you to say not because you don’t want me to have to deal with a truth that might be hurtful, but because you really don’t want to deal with how I would react to the truth. So you convince yourself you’re being kind to me, when in actuality you’re just being cowardly, selfish, and above all, untruthful. I don’t know. I can’t decide if I’m over or under-simplifying here. The point is, I’m going to try very hard not to do this. It’s unnecessary, annoying, hurtful, and to be quite frank, insulting.

~ by beautifullytragic on February 28, 2007.