Last day.
Today was my last day of classes for the semester! I’m so happy. I’ve been so exhausted. All I have left is to turn in my portfolio, take one exams next week, and I’m dooone.
It was my last day at the Jr. High school too, and it went really well. I had a splitting headache last night, so I took my shower at night instead of in the morning, hoping that it would ease the pain. Well after I got out of the shower I slept on my hair wet and it was a little…frizzy, when I woke up. I walked into the classroom this morning and one of the boys looked at me and said “…rough night, Miss Jessica?” lol They crack me up.
I had been telling them all week that today was my last day, and some of them didn’t really seem to care, and others told me “Good! I don’t like you, I can’t wait until you’re gone!” But today, of the six students that were there, four of them came up to me individually and told me they were going to miss me and asked if I would come back and visit. And at the end of the day, we do “positives”, and each student must say one positive thing about themselves, and one positive thing about someone else in the room. So they each gave me a positive at the end of the day. And I’ll tell you what…there is one particular student, who have the the worst time all semester- calling me names, getting in my face, being degrading and disrespectful, telling me he hated me, blahblahblah…seriously, I thought this kid was going to give me a hernia before the year was out. But darn if he wasn’t so sweet to me today. Everyone else said one positive about me, but when it got to him he said like 10. “Thanks for being here Miss Jessica, and thanks for helping me on my spelling, and thanks for letting us do that eggshell experiment, and thanks for helping me with my math, and thanks for bringing me Taco Bell for payoff, and thanks for helping me with my specific skills” etc. It was schocking. And then I got to give each one of them a positive, and I told them things like “So and so, I really appreciate the way that you pulled it together for me so many times this year. If I needed someone to help me out, I knew I could always count on you to get it together and be a leader in here, and I really appreciate that.” And they were so cute, they looked a little embarrassed, but they were all smiley. And then they gave me that “cool guy” handshake that they do, that’s really dramatic and comes in from the side, and requires like a slight cock of the head to pull it off successfully.
One particular student was stuck like glue to me all day. I had brought in some baked Wheat Thins about a month ago for my lunch, and I shared with him. He told me that he loved them, and asked me how much they were and where he could get them…and did I think his mom could get them with her food stamps. Sooo, since it was my last day I brought in a bag of them to share at lunch. Boy I swear, he pretty much ate the whole bag. And wherever I was sitting today, he pulled up a chair beside me, and he must have asked me five times if I would come back and visit them.
There is one student who has been obsessed with finding out how old I am all semester. The first time he asked me was the first week I was there, and I told him it was irrelivent, but he kept asking. They have a level system, where according to your behavior you’re on level 1,2,3 or 4, and with each level comes more privileges. So I told him I’d make him a deal- that the day he got on level 2, I would tell him. And so at least once a week after that he would say “How old are you, Miss Jessica?” And I would say “We have discussed this. Are you on level 2?” Well unfortunately he had a bad day yesterday and threw a fit, throwing books and papers everywhere and cursing up a storm, and he even hit the secretary. The police had to be called and we found out today he’ll be spending 10 days in CDC. So I wrote him a note and left it with the teacher to give him when he reaches level two, telling him congratulations and I knew he could do it, and to keep up the good work, and that I am, in fact, 23 years old. I hope he makes it there before the end of their school year.
So today was a good day, but I’m really sad to leave them. Even on the days I thought I was going to stab myself in the eye with a pencil, I learned more from them than I learned in all my classes this year combined. Especially on those days, actually. I guess I’d grown more attached to them than I’d realized. They’re just special kids. They’ve each got so much unique potential. The student I was talking about asking my age is really into drawing, and I would put his artwork up against anything I’ve ever seen. He’s amazingly talented, and at 14 years old. There is one student who love animals. He’ll get into fist fights over people being mean to cats and such, and he wants to be a vet when he gets older. There is one student who is such a smooth talker. If you’re not careful he’ll have you engaged in conversation for an hour when you’re supposed to be doing work, and he might as well be 25, the way he carries on. He’s very at ease with adults, and he commands the respect of the other students without even really doing anything. If one student was being ridiculous to me, he would turn to them and say “All she did was give you your spelling book, dude. You don’ t need to be disrespectin her like that.” He’ll have no problem cursing at you if he’s mad, but he’s very protective of staff if other students are being ridiculous. We have one staff member who is probably in her mid-60’s, and if anyone says anything to her he’ll say “She’s a senior citizen, man. How would you like it if somebody talked to your granny that way?” With those verbal skills I see him as a politician someday for sure.
I could go on that way about each of them, but it’s late, and I’m exhausted. I’m just a worryer, I guess, and ever since I found out the graduation rate at this school is only 1%, well…I can’t stop thinking about them, and where they’re going to end up in a few years. Statistically speaking, probably jail or McDonalds, and that makes me so sad. Even though I only spent a few months with the, I’m certain what they’re capable of- and that’s not it. I guess it just makes me sad that I’ll never know, or that my window for having any influence at all in that outcome has closed.
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